Last night I went to visit some friends
to say prayers and reminisce about their teenage son
who just died last week.
He died of leukemia after a
long hard battle with the disease.
As people shared stories about Steven, a common thread appeared.
It was one of a caring individual, empathic, funny and warm,
a person who strived to achieve a lot in his short life,
and reached a Christ-like purity by helping others even as his own life slipped away.
What would I do if my days were numbered?
If I knew I only had a few years to live,
what would I do now? Would I choose to do things differently?
What if I only had a year?
What if it were only weeks?
It is like a game in the abstract,
but this was no game, this was the reality that Steven and his family lived with.
Death is inevitable,
but if I try to vision how it will be when I die
the image is one of being vital and healthy until
one night I go to sleep and I don't wake up the next morning,
like how my Grandma Birdie died.
I don't envision the slow debilitating death that cancer brings.
My big wish is to
leave with no regrets
And to live my life in a way that,
if today were the last day,
I will be at peace with my life.
This daily journal came from a promise. Right before Memorial Day 2009, I met with my business coach Joe Stumpf. I shared with him my total burn out in my business of 20 years. Frustrated by what my life had become, I promised to get up at 5:00 AM every day, meditate and journal and focus on bringing passion back into every aspect of my life, my work, my family and my personal growth. Instead of going to work every day and having a PITY PARTY, I have decided to have a PASSION PARTY.
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