Ever since my first sales job, I always felt that I could do the manager's job better than the person I was working under. But I didn't want to be a "manager". The manager's job was on the "dark side":
- it took more hours
- it took commitment
- it involved hiring and firing, monitoring and penalizing people.
I didn't want that job. I didn't want my "work" to become my "life". My dad had spent his whole life building a company, and I wanted to live “life”, not live “work”. I had the perception that in the “us vs. them” world, I would rather be on the side of freedom, rather than management.
Then in 1995 I was hired as a loan officer for a national bank that was moving into California. Two weeks after I was hired, the manager quit. A decision was made not to hire a new manager. Our division of 20 loan officers would just hand our files into the wholesale loan division, and hope for the best.
It was then that I made a decision: I would become the Retail Loan Manager.
After 8 years in the banking business I knew I could be a production manager, but until then I never had the desire. I remember saying that night to my wife, "I am going to be the manager".
The next day when I walked into the bank, everything seemed different. The way I interacted with people was different. The way I felt was different. Even the way I walked seemed different. Before I approached the wholesale operations manager to apply for the job, I was already acting as if I had the job.
I had made a commitment to mortgage banking.
I had made a decision to lead.
I knew I could do it, and that I would do it.
After a few weeks of negotiation, I officially had the job, working side by side with the wholesale ops manager. She went on to become a great friend and mentor.
It was the commitment and the decision that made the difference. It was the start of my becoming a leader.
This daily journal came from a promise. Right before Memorial Day 2009, I met with my business coach Joe Stumpf. I shared with him my total burn out in my business of 20 years. Frustrated by what my life had become, I promised to get up at 5:00 AM every day, meditate and journal and focus on bringing passion back into every aspect of my life, my work, my family and my personal growth. Instead of going to work every day and having a PITY PARTY, I have decided to have a PASSION PARTY.
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