Passion Party #562 - One More Day

If you could spend one more day with a loved one already departed, how would you spend it? What would you do? Mitch Albom became fascinated by this question while writing the book, For One More Day. 
 
Albom found time and again that people wanted to spend an ordinary day doing ordinary things with the people they had loved. Almost everyone wanted to tell this special person, “I love you” one more time. Many said they wanted to do the habitual things they always did with the person, such as head to the movies, or eat at a favorite restaurant, or just sit around and talk about old times.

Albom learned what we yearn for is not something exotic or faraway – it’s connection. And realizing this, a “normal” day is something we should all treasure. 
 
This year on February 29th you will be granted One More Day. I can’t grant you time with someone who is already gone, but I can remind you to do something ordinarily wonderful with someone you love today!

Happy Leap Day!

Passion Party #561 - Optimist Vs. Pessimist

An optimist looks at her smartphone and sees a mighty hand-held computer that is changing the world for the better.
A pessimist looks at her smartphone and sees all the accidents caused by people who text while driving, or text as they walk into a streetlamp.

An optimist thinks, "Another day of potential and opportunity".  A pessimist thinks, "Another day of meaningless existence.  And then you die."

In the end, life is what we make it, and the only constant is change.
As my friend Mark says, "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf".

As for me, I choose to be an optimist
             because the alternative sucks.

Passion Party #560 - Keeping Love Alive

Falling in love is easy.

Falling in lust easier still.

But to be in love and stay in love for decades takes commitment and work.

A recent study of sexual satisfaction in long-term relationships is being published this month in the Journal of Sex Research (you can read more about this at http://www.wsj.com/articles/what-keeps-couples-happy-long-term-1454961956)

The study, started in 2006, analyzed answers from 39,000 heterosexual couples that had been with their partners for at least 3 years.

The “No, duh!” result from the study? Men and women who are sexually satisfied are happier in their relationship.

Well, as Marvin Gaye said, “Let’s Get It On”.

But maybe a long-term loving relationship is not that simple.  The study found that there were consistent habits of happy, long-term couples.  And it is not just frequency of sex that creates a satisfying relationship.  Other factors consistently came up amongst the couples.

The habits that show up consistently amongst the couples are mood setting, sexual variety, communication and frequency of orgasm (no, orgasm was not first among men).

What sets the mood? The most important, by far, is saying, “I love you”.  Lighting a candle, dimming the lights, putting on music; these are all things that fall into the “No, duh!” category, but how often do you do this?  Are you aware of how often you say, “I love you” to the one you love the most?  Engaging in sexy talk and laughing were high on the list as well.

And what kind of communication is key?  Well, scheduling a “date night” or a morning to be sure they had sex was mentioned by about 60% of the couples.  Spontaneity is wonderful, but it is not a habit for most people.

Other types of communication that were mentioned in the study: Praise your partner. Communicate about what you want. Ask what the other person wants. Say what feels good.  Ask for feedback.  Talk throughout the day, not just at night.  The more people communicate, the more satisfying the relationship. (No, duh again.)

We never stay the same in a relationship. We are always growing together, or growing apart.  So take the time. Communicate.  Schedule a date night. Light a candle.  And not just on Valentine’s Day.

Passion Party #559 - The Unexpected Challenge

Who knew it would be uncomfortable to plan a 25-day vacation?
Who knew that writing a cover letter for something you believe in could be so difficult?

The challenges we set for ourselves
- to lose weight
 - to exercise more
 - to make more money
these are easy compared to the unexpected challenges,
the ones that life throws at us like a curve ball
the ones that leave us questioning
wondering where the resistance is coming from,
whether we can even lift the bat, much less swing it,
wondering and wandering.

It takes time to dig deep and find where the resistance is coming from.
I cannot prepare, I can only be open and willing to face the challenges